Bad Movie Night 04/09/08- Stargate Ark of Truth

The Ark of Truth was pretty much like watching two episodes of Stargate. I am in no way convinced that is not exactly what this is. It wasn't bad for a season finale but it wasn't exactly good for a movie. I have to grant it that this is a direct to dvd movie and not something released on the big screen. I should cut the movie some slack if only because it wasn't horrible. The scenes with the replicators were down right scary. If the replicators had done a little bit more killing than just that one bureaucratic red shirt I think this would have gone up several ranks in my mind.

If you've ever watched the show then you know how they beat major bad guys. They find a box, and push a button. The trials and tribulations that get them to the box in the first place is pretty freaking exciting. Don't get me wrong, I love the show. I just was kind of hoping for Teal'c to go into bad ass mode and to destroy the god like being by just the presence of his glaring manliness. I would also like to take this opportunity to tell the world that Christopher Judge should be Luke Cage aka Power Man in the upcoming Luke Cage movie. He's one shaved head from being the splitting image of what Luke Cage looks like in the current continuity. And, when he isn't in character he just makes me think Cage!

I've probably already ruined it for you but I will warn of spoilers now. They find a box... the title mentioned Ark of Truth and they push a button and it solves all of their problems. Both conveniently and in a way that made me scratch my head. Now they got a nice heavenly help from an ascended ancient who decided to lock herself in Immortal Kombat!!!! for all eternity to make up for her past mistakes in stopping a mad scientist from making the equivlent of the Ultimate Nullifier.

Blood: There is a juicy fight scene between this horrible human replicator hybrid that goes on for a while. Besides that there isn't any real nice violence of note. I was hoping for another moment of Teal'c wading through enemy soldier dropping them like loads of bricks and making them cry for their god themed moms. I was dissapointed.

Boobs: Morena Baccarin... on fire! Need I say more? Yeah, she is evil, but she is the hot kind of evil that I would let join a crazy cult for. Kind of like in the movie...

Baddies: Replicators scare the crap out of me! And Adria (Morena Baccarin's character) is evil as well... though like I said before... not the kind of evil I take seriously because I'm too busy wondering how something so beautiful can be so world destroyingly evil. Also... for a near omnipresent... omnipotent being she sure doesn't make use of her powers. She could have destroyed the ark just like Morgana destroyed Merlin's magical box all those years ago.

Boom: Stuff does go boom... enough stuff to save this movie? No. But enough stuff to keep me from leaving the room for the sweet sweet embrace of individually wrapped pasteries.

Bad Acting: I'd have to say all the acting was pretty well done. Nothing to make fun of really... I have always been impressed with Stargate for having good writing and good actors to deliver those lines.