Bad Movie Night 04/16/08- Barbarella

All I can say is that people in the 60's really did think that things were going to change for the better real soon. And, also that someone was going to invent a kind of psychic pill that linked people into a shared orgasmic state that is kind of like touching one of those electricity balls at a museum.

The entire movie is absurd and I can only hope that was the point even in the 60's. It was however a great movie for Bad Movie Night. You could almost feel the beautiful badness of the movie fill your lungs as sociopathic cannibalistic dolls fill your vision.

In the future the galaxy has been pacified through drug induced palm fornication. I can only get down on both knees and pray that there wasn't any serious thought into this as some kind of metaphor. But, this "plot" element allowed the title character to be both a total whore and a innocent virgin at the same time. And, isn't this exactly what we all want in a woman?

As far as I could figure the lead singer for Duran Duran has found the plans for a "laser" that does stuff... to the 4th dimension! I think it kills people but his other inventions that were supposed to kill only managed to remove Barbarella's outfits or give her multiple orgasms. She goes through so many costume changes throughout this movie I can only assume it is how most girls play with real Barbies. Since my sister went through that period with what I can only assume a desire to grow up to be the first female serial killer all I know about Barbies is finding their mangled naked corpses intermixed with my mangled naked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... and the occasional My Little Pony to add to the bizarreness of the mass grave.

Blood: Not really... though Barbarella did have a gun that made people explode/shatter. Also she got bitten/disrobed by both exotic birds and cannibalistic dolls from hell.

Boobs: This movie is sex, and the title character has sex and gets naked more times than I could possibly watch this movie. This is where the movie makes up for not having a plot or a chorus of line dancing ninjas. Though the sex scenes are all off camera and her breasts are only shown for a few brief seconds. I think all the implied sex more than delivers.

Baddie: Durand Durand is just as much a baddie as Doctor Evil can be considered a villain. His traps are laughable, his cause (evil by the way) just makes you want to laugh. The female baddie who at one point forces herself on this guy is more hot than evil... besides that erect cock on her forehead... Ewwwww!!!!

Boom: Things did blow up on occasion. Such as the torture machine that overloaded because Barbarella is the biggest whore in the entire galaxy and short circuited the device with her ability to take a good pounding.

Bad Acting: I think this movie is known for it's bad acting. I love the blind angel though, when he keeps saying stuff like: "An Angel doesn't make love, he is love." Wow... um that would be more poetic if you weren't putting your angel cock in Barbarella in a giant nest. Because Angels make nests... it's only logical. They have wings don't they? Chewbacca was from Kashyyyk!!