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Hulk Smash!

If anything, Incredible Hulk is twice the movie that Hulk was. I only say that to avoid ranting about how horrible that movie was. This movie was gamma irradiated fun and a smashing good time. Though a little piece of me just died for saying something so utterly cheesy. This movie is worth seeing in theaters but only if you are a comic book fan (or possibly a fan of the old tv show). If you don't like comic books and you've only heard about the Hulk from commercials for this or the previous movie... you should maybe wait to rent this movie. Unlike the Iron Man movie there is some errata that you have to know to fully enjoy this movie. They pepper the movie with future Hulk opponents, such as Doc Samson and the Leader. There were even a few jokes from the show and the comic book that show up in the movie. It could be worth a rental even to the geek challenged.

My one very simple complaint is that several times during the movie I felt like I was watching King Kong while someone had messed with the contrast. The Hulk too often fought like a monkey and even ran off with Betty to a high cave for a creepily romantic scene. Not that King Kong is that bad a movie... and parallels can be made between the two movies... just wish it wasn't so freaking obvious. I think the creators of the movie played homage to every previous Hulk. From the comics, to the previous movie, to that piece of crap tv show, even to the most recent video game. Hulk tears a car in half and uses them as fists to do more damage... and I'll be damned if he didn't use that move and so many others from the video game. Don't believe me? Play Hulk Ultimate Destruction... watch the movie, and then ponder. Of course homages isn't a bad thing... they wanted to hit every possible fan that could be watching the movie. It's called lowest common denominator. That's why they made so many references. So that someone who like the old show, played the popular video game, read the comic, or God forbid.. enjoyed the previous movie... they would all feel like the movie was speaking directly to them.

The plot of the movie is pretty straight forward and nothing new when it comes to the Hulk. He's running from the army cause he wants to be left alone and nefarious General Ross won't respect these wishes... much to the General's own woe. And, then Hulk beats up someone who is big and bad and a danger to society... well just as much a danger as the Hulk himself is. Now... this has little to do with the movie but the ads for the movie and the video game call the Hulk a hero. What?! Let's be honest here: The Hulk is NOT a hero. He isn't a role model. And he sure as hell isn't someone you'd want to emulate. I've even got a comic at home that directly says that when this kid decides he wants to be the Hulk. Pretty much... the Hulk is a giant asshole with big muscles. He isn't here to save the day, if anything he's a force of nature. Sometimes he sweeps up Absorbing Man before he can kill a group of boy scouts, and sometimes he ruins your grandma's Bridge Club bake sale!

Blood: Not only is there blood... there is slow-mo blood and bloody drinks that Stan Lee chugs, rooms filled with blood, blood infusions, blood defusions... lots of blood. Not much blood splatterings though I almost expected that abomination's skull could only take a few more Hulk sized poundings.

Babes: Liv Tyler plays Betty Ross... And. let's just admit that Liv has a pretty high hottie rating. Of course I love pale girls with dark hair... and elves.

Baddies: General Ross is the main antagonist to Bruce Banner/Hulk throughout the movie. Though they never come into any kind of direct fisticuffs. The Hulk's sparring partner is Emil Blonsky/Abomination who plays both a heroic soldier... and then a disturbed villain... and finally an out of control monster. The Leader is also featured and Betty's boyfriend Doctor Samson who is the Hulk's gamma irradiated psychologist in the comics.

Boom: Ummm... yeah. Don't take anyone with a heart condition. There is a lot more boom and a lot less stupid ass story building like the fist movie.

Bad Acting: Ok... Bad Acting is more for Bad Movie Night and I'm really tired of just saying that the acting was decent or not. The acting was pretty good.

Overall Rating: 7/10

Wushu Finger Hold!

If you are looking for a sophisticated movie... then one would question what you were doing in a movie called Kung Fu Panda. This is a very happy feel good movie and if you've ever seen a movie you'll feel like a latent psychic the whole way through. There aren't any surprises. It is however funny and has enough action to keep me, and most likely you, interested. If you know any young children whose parents won't call the cops if they go missing for a few hours... I suggest you use them as an excuse to go see this movie. Or, you know just put on your kung fu outfit and head on over to your local cinemas. The first five minutes of the movie is in a different kind of animation style than the rest of the movie. I truly enjoy this style of animation more than the cgi that the rest of the movie is in. Sadly there isn't any chance that someone will be doing an animated movie due to the popularity of cgi.

The movie takes place in a peaceful valley where a group of kung fu practitioners known as the Fearsome Five protect the villagers through the power of kung fu... and awesomeness. The main character Po (Jack Black) idolizes the warriors and fantasizes about fighting alongside them. Meanwhile the old tortoise master has a vision that a previous student, who was corrupted by the darker side of kung fu, would be returning to extract his revenge. The most awesome action in the movie is when Tai Lung (Ian McShane) escapes from prison.

The interaction between Po and his master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) is filled with real character development which is so very often absent from "kid movies". If there is any change in most kid movies it's sudden and unbelievable. All of the main characters with the possible exception of Po's dad are multi-layered. If anything this movie is worth a rental.

Blood: This is a movie for the younger viewer, there won't be any blood. You sicko.

Babes: Unless you are a furry... you won't be finding any babes in this movie. Lord please don't let the Internet pervert this movie. I'm going to be doing a google image search in a second, the last thing I need to see is Po's Dragon Warrior.

Baddies: Tai Lung is actually a very powerful villain. Just the way that he explodes through legendary warriors. It makes the climax of the movie truly intense.

Boom: Things blow up... and the kung fu explodes as well. The Wushu Finger Hold alone is worth a good boom rating.

Bad Acting: The acting is amazing. I like the trend of animated movies getting all star casts.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Bad Movie Night 6/4/08- I'm Gonna Get You Sucka!

This movie was bad... in such a very very good way. Usually we don't watch parodies and comedies for Bad Movie Night. But, I am certainly glad that this movie came up because it made me laugh more than any movie that I've seen this year. For the most part the jokes were funny and their was still plenty of movie to make fun of. The plot takes elements from several different types of blacksploitation films and brings them all into one movie. A lot of the jokes are predictable, not including the plethora of running gags. My favorite scene is when Kung Fu Joe gets pulled over by the cops. I was laughing about that for about a week after seeing the movie.

The story takes place in "Any Ghetto USA" and focuses on two women who have lost a son and a husband respectfully. He died of wearing too many gold chains. A returning son and love interest (Keenen Ivory Wayans), again respectfully, decides to avenge his brother's death. He gathers together a group of black heroes and starts going down the road of black heroism himself. Together they run the mob boss "Mr. Big" out of town. Taking the law into their own hands.

If you've seen a few blacksploitation films from the 70's then you might really enjoy this movie. There are plenty of jokes that will be a lot funnier if you are familiar with the genre as a whole. Though I wouldn't try to sway you from seeing this movie if you are just looking for a cheap laugh. Pay close attention some of the jokes are pretty subtle.

Blood: There are some bloody moments but they are so damn funny that I have to appreciate them more for the jokes than for my usual enjoyment of violence.

Babes: There are some women who are supposed to be attractive, judging from the male character's reactions, but I didn't really see anything that I was very attracted to.

Baddie: The main bad guy, Mr. Big is completely forgettable and is barely in the movie. Sure he plots the protagonist's demise but he isn't too bad.

Boom: There is some awesome boomage in this film. The action is for the most part comical but it's supposed to be that way.

Bad Acting: If anything the acting is really well done for the type of movie this is. I enjoyed the actor's timing and the chemistry between the actors.

Overall Rating: 6/10