For Aslan!

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is a good movie as family entertainment goes. If you enjoyed the epic battle scenes that were in The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe then you should like what this movie has to offer. This would be a good opportunity to take your kids to the movies. The action and story is good enough t0 keep your attention and there are talking animals. We all know that talking animals are like crack to 5 year olds.

Speaking of talking animals, Reepicheep is the hero of this movie. He's a talking mouse... who is like cheap toilet paper: doesn't take crap from anybody. Seriously this is the most likable character in the movie. The only way this character would be more badass is if Samuel L. Jackson was doing his voice. Not that cross dressing Eddie Izzard did a bad job... it was good. If this movie was set in modern times Reepicheep would be holding a .50 caliber machine gun in both hands and a cigar between his whiskered lips. "Cute? Motherfucker! Don't think that my good nature will keep me from fucking your shit up!" -Reepicheep (if Samuel L. Jackson was doing the voice). This is going on the wish list. Also I hope Bulgy the retarded bear is in every freaking movie from here on out. He's in the war room... you'll know who I'm talking about.

The title character, Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) is the next Anakin Skywalker of film. This kid is a whining little bitch throughout the entire movie. I was hoping that Aslan, the giant lion Jesus allegory, was going to wipe that smug smile off of his emo face. Let's hope that he has improved some by the time the next Narnia movie comes out in 2010. He's going to be in that one to but he'll be overshadowed by the other whiny little bitch: Eustace Scrubb. I feel bad for whoever gets cast to that role. Prince Caspian comes from a family of royal backstabbers... kind of like (Ben Barnes) only other role that I know about in Stardust. Typecasting? His uncle killed his dad and then tried to kill him... and then Saddam Hussein killed his uncle. It's nice of Hollywood to employ currently deceased ex-middle eastern dictators.

The movie climaxes in a battle between Narnians and humans (who want to wipe out the Narnians). The kids from the first movie are very much superheroesque in this movie. Peter and Susan kill more cannon fodder soldiers than Chuck Norris does in an average episode of Walker Texas Ranger. And, then Jesus shows up... *cough* I mean Aslan shows up. Aslan convinces the Ents *cough* tree spirits to march out and lay down some whoop ass by roaring at them. Roaring is a highly underused motivational tool. The action and comedy in this movie was enough to keep my entertained throughout. The plot was a bit predictable even if you haven't read the books.

Blood: It's PG. Though the battle sequences are nice... they really can't show much blood.

Babes: Ummm... unless you're some kind of creepy pedophile or zooaphile. No. I'm too afraid of rule 34 to do a google search on this subject.

Baddie: The main bad guy is the typical bad guy. Deceitful? check. Killed a main characters parent? check. Goatee? check. Ridiculous plot to gain power? check. Saddam Hussein rose from the dead to jab an arrow into this guy to spark off anti-Narinan sentiment.

Boom: The battles were awesome. No explosions that I can remember but big rocks slamming into the ground were pretty intense. Also it turns out that Fauns, like Mr. Tumnus in the first movie, are freaking ninjas! I can honestly say that I've never seen a mouse kill more people on screen since that little mishap on the set of The Mouse and the Motorcycle. *shudders* The memory of Ralph's fuel tank exploding still haunts my dreams.

Bad Acting: Everyone did a really good and believable job... except for Prince Caspian. Unless he was supposed to be an annoying emo kid.

Overall Rating: 7/10